Blood Sugar Testing Resumes

Today is the day...

Blood sugar testing around 8 times per day.  I know what you're thinking...yikes.  Does everyone reading know that I have Type 1 Diabetes?

I was diagnosed when I was 9 years old.  My dad noticed a significant weight loss (yes, I was a chunky 9-year-old) and I think he finally decided to take me to my pediatrician when I was up one night 12 different times.  I would go to the bathroom, and then drink about 5 or 6 cups of water right after that.  Something was wrong.

Sure enough, I was diagnosed and promptly put on a diet and insulin regime.  It was not fun...it still isn't.  At that time, we were still counting fat and sugar for blood sugar control rather than carbohydrates.  Looking back, I ate really well (even though it didn't seem like it at the time- what kid wants to eat a cup of broccoli everyday with their lunch?).  My stepmom was a great cook and I had plenty of food.  But I couldn't have any of the stuff I wanted.  Cookies, cakes, bowls upon bowls of cereal, soda, etc.  As I grew up, I got more and more angry at my disease.  I would go into Walmart during the holidays and purposefully smash the yummy chocolates, just because I couldn't have them.  Isn't that terrible?!  Once I hit junior high, it got worse.  There were vending machines at my school...and I got an allowance.  My parents found candy bar wrappers and empty chip bags behind my bookcase on a regular base.  It was awful.  And the worst part is, I didn't care.  I really didn't.  Looking back, I know now that I was in denial of my disease.  If I ignored it, then maybe it would just go away.

Obviously, diabetes doesn't work that way.  And even to this day, it has been a struggle.  More often then I'd like to admit, I slip back into my "I'll just have a cookie today and it will be fine" phase.  But recently, something inside of me has changed.  I don't really know how to explain it, or what really happened.  I think it's a combination of knowing that how I'm handling (in the loosest sense of the word) my diabetes is totally wrong, and the fact that I'm getting older.  As the time flies right by, I can see clearly that if I don't get ahold of myself and my health, my years here will be short.  I want to grow old with my husband and have a healthy baby, but I can't do it like this.

So today, I went to the pharmacy.  I bought a brand-new glucometer and called in a prescription for test strips.  I just got home with that and have already tested twice!  I have an appointment set up with a new endocrinologist- an adult one (what a novel idea!).  Also, one of my coworkers is a nursing student and is a constant source of knowledge for me.  He is even developing a meal plan for me!  I sat down with Sebastian and asked for his support while I get on the right track.  He promptly got rid of the sweets and snacks we had lying around and vowed to change his diet too.  I feel good and for the first time, I can really tell that this change will be permanent.  When it comes right down to it, diabetes is a daily battle that I must choose to either win or lose.

Today, I choose to win.